great expectations

Hello people long time no talk.  I haven’t exactly had a lack of writing material I simply was having a difficult time putting my experience into words. I arrived in Peru thinking that I would dive right into my volunteer experience and immediately feel like the work I was doing is appreciated and contributing to making a difference.  In the past few weeks I have felt that the work I am doing is not especially effective and the results are most definitely not immediate and not necessarily appreciated.  I’d been hit with an overwhelming feeling of ¨What the heck am I doing here? And why am I here for six months?”  Recently I have been thinking about these two questions, A LOT.  So this is what I’ve come up with. 

I was informed upon arrival that the work I would be doing would not be as hands as the typical “volunteer experience.”  My job position here is the Volunteer Program Assistant- meaning that I help coordinate the short-term groups and check in with long-term volunteers among other responsibilities.  I came here knowing some aspects of the position but also with the expectations of working with my hands, interacting with the people and really making a difference.  After some thinking ultimately I decided to change my attitude- DUH.  Despite the fact that the program wasn’t what I anticipated or that my expectations didn’t meet the rave reviews of the volunteers I had met in the past, there are plenty of things that I witness here that I can attribute to a meaningful experience.

For example: 

This week is Semana Santa- Holy Week.  Today in the parish there was a special mass for the blessing of the ill- I do believe it is called anointing of the sick.  There was a big banner strung up that read, “Estuve enfermo y me visitaste” meaning I was sick and you visited me.  In addition to the banner all of the pews from the church were brought out into a big open area in the parish as well as a ton of extra chairs and benches.  At 3:00 people started filling in- it wasn’t just ordinary people filing in either.  It was people in wheel chairs, people limping, people being escorted, and parish workers carrying people who couldn’t walk and didn’t have wheelchairs to move from the vans to their chairs.  It was something else watching this happen.

 (This is a picture at mass Father Jack is blessing a tiny little woman- every person who came received their blessing)

(Here is a close up of a typical wheelchair here- a plastic chair rigged up to some bike wheels... the chair on the right was a donation)

(Here is a picture of two men carrying in a man who cannot walk- he doesnt have a wheelchair so they put him in a chair and carried him in)


Really, I mean come on- here I am whining about my “expectations” when there are people who can’t walk and can’t afford wheelchairs but they are seemingly content and happy simply to be at mass receiving a blessing.  What I have come to realize is that these are the moments to focus on.  Focus on the moments that are meaningful, the moments that make you give thanks, the moments that take you by surprise.  Simply by redirecting where my energy is going I have already had a better week.  While I may not be getting my hands dirty or interacting as directly as I had hoped I know not to spend my time focusing on what I’m not doing but rather what I am.  I am helping other people have meaningful and effective experiences here.  It is so easy to get brought down by the negative but when we get sucked into it we miss out on the positive things occurring despite the bad.  This trip continues to be a learning and growing experience for me.